She understands my need to be totally submissive to her.

Wish there was some new kinky stuff to write about, but sad to say it’s the same old kinky stuff which is good for me, but not the reader. My tease and denial sessions are down to twice a day, around 5 and 9 am, with an orgasm for her every other night. As part of the tease session, I do get a blow job every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday. And my pee treats are down to 2 a day, right after my 5 am tease session and right before my 9 am tease session. It’s been 22 days since my last ruined orgasm.

My wife is not very dominant, she is just too nice, but she does like to get her own way and likes to brag to family and friends about all the housework I do. She understands that I am submissive to her and not just playing games and she loves the fact that I am submissive to her.

I love to do small things for her like opening car doors, heating up her towels on cool mornings when she is in the shower and I want her to leave her dirty clothes on the bathroom floor for me to pick up. I always thank her for allowing me to do small things for her. She understands my need to be totally submissive to her.

28 thoughts on “She understands my need to be totally submissive to her.

  1. I decided to take a break from the orgasm control. I felt my wife didn’t really care about it so for 2 weeks I used the vibrator on my cock every day and had an orgasm every day. I still did all the housework, laundry, and cleaned up after my wife but did not ask her to use the vibrator on me. She never asked about it. 4 days ago I told her I was using the vibrator on myself everyday. Her response was that if I wanted to then go ahead. I was disappointed to hear that. I told her I would prefer she be in charge of that. I told her I wished she cared about it. She said Ok but how would she know if I cheated. She says she would agree to be in charge of my orgasms but I must not cheat again. I told her I would not cheat if she took it more seriously. We agreed but I would have to pay her to show I am serious and devoted. I negotiated $400 (all the cash I had on hand) but that would include letting me lick her one time. I asked that I please get to lick her pussy sometimes. She said no. She made it crystal clear I am only allowed to lick her asshole and have to pay her $100 each time. But she did pledge to take the orgasm control seriously and I promised to never orgasm without her participation and permission. I paid her, gave her a bath, licked her asshole until she told me to stop, and then gave her a long massage. She does seem to be taking it more seriously. She bossed me around a lot the past few days and added cooking to all my other household chores.

    We will see where it goes. My belief is that she only cares about orgasm control because I care about orgasm control and ask her to participate. It would seem more real if it was her idea.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I can understand perfectly how after some time there is little new to report because the life simply goes on without great changes, even in FLR/Femdom. It’s not boring, it’s just that very little new hapens that wasn’t already be described. This is number one reason why I don’t have my own blog, I would feel obliged to keep it alive with frequent enough and interesting posts, and I cannot commit to that.
    Cincy, I am glad for you that the two of you have found the stability that you can both enjoy.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This morning, during my Monday blow job, I begged her to let me cum. After, I thanked her for not letting me cum, “then stop begging me all the time”. I told her that I love it when she says “NO”, and to promise me that she will never allow me to cum again. She promised but I’m not going to hold her to it.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. It happens to me too. In the beginning, in the first stages of my wife taking control of my sex (by forbidding masturbation) she didn’t restrict my orgasms, as long as it was from sex and as long as she was satisfied first (not necessarily with her own orgasm). At that time I still begged to be allowed to jerk off in her presence and sometimes she allowed it (playing was and remains completely forbidden if she is not around, all my ejaculations happen in her presence). I enjoyed those orgasms. But gradually and with her ever stricter control, I started to enjoy the active denial of all orgasms. Now I am like you in this regard and most of the time my wife seems to get it, she understands my craving of the erotic high I get into from not being allowed to cum, to have vaginal intercourse, to ejaculate inside pussy etc. But then, sometimes when I am particularly desperate for orgasm, and I am finally granted one, she still doesn’t quite comprehend why the charade is really needed if I am grumpy after orgasm. We need to hear the actual words of denial, don’t we. It is not the same as the implied denial which comes from our general FLR dynamics. I need a reaffirmation of my lack of control over my own sex organ and sex in general.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hearing a strict NO has a profound effect on me too. Not necessarily a NO about sex, but especially when it’s about sex. So yeah, I need active denial just like you. I reailze that sometimes her NO is voiced just to satisfy my kink, but many times it is a real NO, and these NO’s are the best and I have no choice but to obey, even if I really don’t like it, but I can get a partial or full erection from it regardless.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Here is something new.

    When I am honest with myself I realize that my wife is not into this orgasm control thing. It has been me pushing this all along. She has never asked me if I masturbated. She has never teased my cock without me asking. She has many times told me I can orgasm by myself whenever I need to. I suspect this is the case with the vast majority of married men with this fetish. My wife plays along with it because I keep bringing it and bribing her with money. If I stopped talking about this with her then she would never talk about it either. I think she may be relieved. Really I should just stop bugging her about it. That’s what I often think. I should try not bringing it up again and see if she ever brings up the subject. I think she won’t.

    I am not really sure if she likes to get her ass licked or if she does it because I ask. I think if I don’t ask she will never bring it up. Truth is my wife doesn’t really care about sex anymore. I think because of menopause.

    Really it’s no fun when she is not into it. I have fantasy’s about being with a sexually dominant woman. That’s not my wife.

    Cincy34 – I appreciate letting me share the blog with my thoughts. Like Tom – I don’t want to create my own blog

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Jack, have you asked her what she really wants? Tell her she can ask for anything and you will do it. What would make her interested in sex again? Pick her brain. Is she really not enjoying the physical feeling of having her anus teased and licked, even if she doesn’t dig your fascination and enjoyment of this act?

      In our relationship, when my wife is angry or dissapointed with something I did or didn’t do, she is not in the mood for FLR dynamics at all, except for taking all sex activities to zero, but that was the norm also when we were vanilla. But even before FLR/Femdom in our vanilla years she enjoyed the feeling of my tongue on and inside her ass, anallingus has always been part of our sex (she even licked my butthole a few times many years ago).

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Tom, yes I have asked her. She says she is old (mid fifties) and does not need sex. But she is going through menopause (has hot flashes, can’t sleep, etc..) so that may be why she has no sex drive. She does contradict herself with the ass licking – not by what she says but in her actions. I’ll tell her to tell me when to stop. Sometimes she tells me to stop after 5 minutes – other times 15 minutes or more. So that makes me think (or hope) she really likes it. But I have to offer her money to lick her ass. She wont tell me to lick her ass.

    She does want to be in charge of the marriage. I am sure of that. She does boss me around and expects me to do all the household chores. She also wants to (and for the most part does) control the finances. That part is not in my head. I am my wife’s sub in that respect. I just want her to be Dominant with sex as well.

    Like I said in a previous post – the intercourse stopped a couple years ago when she found out I was taking Viagra. The Viagra was flushed down the toilet and I was told there would be no more intercourse and there hasn’t been any. This week she again told me I cannot lick her pussy anymore. I can only lick her ass if I ask her and if I pay. So in a way she is dominant with me sexually – by denying intercourse and pussy licking and making me pay to lick her ass. Just wish she would ask me to lick her and cared about the orgasm denial. Then I would be satisfied.

    Like I said in the previous post – if I just forget about the ass licking and orgasm control I think that would be just fine with my wife and she would not mention it again. That’s why it’s just not that much fun anymore

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I am sorry that the spark seems to be gone for now. Maybe she will come around after menopause. My wife hasn’t entered it yet. I used to be seeing a sex therapist a while ago and she told me once how in many women sex drive increases after menopause and that she had had the same experience.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Jack, I would also think that no woman would stand you licking and kissing her ass that long if she didn’t enjoy it, even if she doesn’t say so.
      What buffles me is why pussy licking is completely off limits for you. Is it possible that she is embarrassed about something? Of the changes she is going through? Maybe she noticed that her smell has changed down there and is mortified of you finding her new scent unpleasant? I am just wild guessing.
      And I must admit that the fact that you must pay for every sexual activity sounds wrong. I thought it was just a fun game when you first brought it up, but it seems it is not.
      If you tried to completely ignore her sexually for a while and stopped being submissive in other things (I know, easy to say, hard to do), do you think she would react and want your attention back?
      I tried to punish my wife (by ignoring her intimately) a few times when I was very angry and resentful. I lost every time, I cannot stand it for long, that’s why the worst punishment for me is withdrawing all intimate attention (no sex, no dominance, no tease-and-denial, nothing…) and she knows it and uses it. Not often and only when I deserve it, but I fear it because it is quite unbearable for me if it lasts for weeks.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. So sorry Jack, that it’s not fun anymore. My wife is 66 and still enjoys sex, but penetration is not important to her. After her orgasm, she wants me to lick her pussy and ass and says that it extends her orgasm.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Yes you are lucky. What was it like when your wife was experiencing menopause. Was there ever a time in that process that she lost her sex drive?

    Do you live in Cincinnati (cincy34)?

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Tom,

    yes it is strange I have to pay her. That is because she doesn’t care about sex and wants more money.

    I didn’t lick her pussy much before the viagra event (end of intercourse). Then after that I licked her pussy every week and she seemed to like it. Then she started getting hot flashes and at the same time she said it hurt when I licked her pussy. So I started licking her ass and she was Ok with that.

    I asked her for the FLR. At first she thought that was not right but now she embraces it.
    I asked for the orgasm control. It’s been a week since I was on my masturbating spree. I asked her a couple times for vibrator time and she has said no. No teasing in a week. Yes it’s no fun. But I am definitely getting orgasm control. I am going to see how long she makes me wait this time before she let’s me cum. Her attitude seems different after I told her I was masturbating every day. I am so horny now I want to pay to lick her asshole again.

    My wife is in charge. I chose that. This is what I got. It’s better than all the fighting about things before the FLR. Our marriage is more stable.

    My submissive side is anchored to my sexuality. I don’t feel submissive to my wife after an orgasm. I have told my wife this – that I will feel more submissive to her with orgasm control. Not sure she believes that.

    It could always be better. I wish I had a wife who used a strap-on on my ass and paraded me around nude in front of her kinky friends. But I’ll never have that. So maybe I should feel lucky with what I got. My wife is not freaked about my kinks. Most wives would be.


    Liked by 3 people

  8. We’ve been married for 39 years, but together for 46 years. She said I’ve always been kinky but it seems like it’s only been the last few years. Licking her ass is new, orgasm denial is new. posting nude pics of her online is new, drinking her pee is new and wanting her to cuckold me and fuck other men is new.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Wow, yes you two are kinky. I like all of that except for the drinking pee and cuckold. My wife would not go for the nude pics on-line. I have posted nude pics of myself before (no face) but she doesn’t know about that.

    My wife does allow me to wear a skimpy bikini to the beach. One time her sister visited us for a few months and I often wore really short girl shorts (butt cheeks showing) when I cleaned. I am hairless from head to toe so I think she got the idea that I am submissive and feminine. So my point is that my wife doesn’t embarrass easy with me being an exhibitionist.

    Was it your idea to post nude pics of your wife? Were you surprised she was into it?

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Wow Jack, that sounds exciting and hot. So your wife is fine with exposing your submissiveness to other people, her sister for instance. Does she encourage it or marely tollerate it?
    Just curious: do you like to be shown and perieved as feminine/feminised?

    I personally like wearing my wife’s worn panties, especially under conditions of frustratingly long periods of PIV sex and orgasm denial (but with a lot of sex and unlimited orgasms for my wife). I no longer ask for it, she tells me when I must wear her panties, even to work or to gym. First, it is exciting because I must obey her. And it turns me on big time to have my cock rubbing against the fabric that covered my wife’s pussy and ass the whole day previously or over the night and is full of her sex scent. Right this week I must wear her panties full time, as a punishment. And I don’t cheat, even in gym, if other guys were paying attention they would notice. Some do I guess. But apart from that, I actually want to be perceived as a strong male who is totally dominated by the feminine power of my wife (and selected other females, but that is mostly just fantasy).

    Liked by 2 people

  11. My wife is fine with me exposing my submissiveness in front of her sister and her friends. For example one time she spilled something on the kitchen floor when one of her friends visited. My wife pointed to the floor and asked me to clean it up. I got on my knees and cleaned it up. My wife’s friend giggled and said I treat my wife like a Queen. I think my wife told her about our FLR and was giving a demonstration. I only like exposing my submissiveness and body to women. There is no way I would show butt cheek in front of her brothers.

    I think my wife’s sister is hot. I really hope she visits again for a few months (she is single). I really like having 2 sisters in the house and the freedom to be feminine. My wife’s sister asked me why my shorts were so short and I said that’s what I like to wear around the house. She giggled. I also wore skin tight leggings that left nothing to the imagination. One time she saw me with laser hair removal marks on my legs and asked my wife about it. They then both laughed. Her sister asked questions about the hair removal and now knows I had all my pubic hair removed along with most of my body hair. The sister would often walk around bra less and bend over in front of me. I don’t know if it was intentional but she has beautiful firm breast and made me excited to see them. Next time she visits I think I will paint my toe nails for her to see to push it a little further. I am leaking pre-cum all over as I type this.

    I have worked out all my life. I have very sexy hairless legs that women look at. So I think my wife’s female friends enjoy the view. I don’t look ridiculous. My body looks great from someone my age.

    Yes I see myself as feminine. I feel more and more feminine and submissive the longer I don’t orgasm. I wear less and less clothes the longer I don’t orgasm. I will wear 2″ inseam shorts to the market. My wife is Ok with all of this. She does not encourage it but also doesn’t object. She will paint my toe nails when I ask. The nude pics I have shared on the internet are always with me in high heels and painted toe nails.

    I have many girl panties and also have lot’s of boy panties (what the gay bitch boys wear). The most coverage is half my ass down to g-strings. This is all I wear – no normal guy underwear.

    It is hot that your wife makes you wear her panties. How do the guys at the gym know you wear the panties? In the dressing room? Do you leak pre-cum in your wife’s panties? Do you wear short gym shorts? I have a home gym and work out nude.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Jack.
      Your life sounds exciting even though your wife’s sex drive is down (hopefully only as a phase). Many things sound familiar actually, especially yor reactions (arousal, precum in free flow etc.).

      I guess we are less modest on this side of the pond than on yours when it comes to nudity. In many gyms or saunas there are no real cubicles to change or shower in privacy and people walk around locker rooms, showers and in saunas fully nude. You have to sit on a towel, but that’s about it. Well, some people wear a towel or bathing robe when they walk around, but many don’t (I don’t). Including in mixed saunas. So that’s how the other guys can see that I am wearing panties (when I do), when I undress or when I put my clothes back on.
      Have you considered offering your wife and/or her sister to do their toenails or shave their legs or something like that? Or to do full pedicure or foot massage? I do all that for my wife (and hopefully for some of her girlfriends in the future), I also shave her privates when she asks for it. All this and many other personal services that I do for my wife became erotic experiences for me. I love doing them (even when I don’t feel like it).

      Wearing women’s clothes and other forms of feminization are not my cup of tea, but good for you that they are yours. I don’t own any panties, I only wear my wife’s and only after she wore them. It was my idea at first, but she quickly embraced it. It started when I admitted (after many years together) that I sometimes masturbated while sniffing her fragrant panties. Back then I was still free to masturbate and have orgasms whenever I wanted. We went on a short holiday once and packed only her underware, we both wore it, first her, then me.

      I don’t want to hijack cincy’s thread and blog, you can email me at if you like to talk about it. I get excited just like you by talking about this stuff.

      Liked by 2 people

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